Last night at about midnight, I was thinking about how I would share the news that my wedding would be postponed. I figured I could just write it in an Instagram caption and be done but I really want to provide guidance and help to anyone who may be going through this themselves. No one truly understands what your going through unless they are going through it as well. Since I am in this unique position, I figured it was the perfect time to write a blog post about it- so I’m going to jump right into it!
Here are some tips for soon-to-be brides:
- If your wedding is in May, June or even July I HIGHLY suggest forming a backup plan. It will bring some peace of mind and make the decision to postpone your wedding (if needed) a little easier.
- If your wedding is in April, I’d suggest choosing to postpone. The country will still be social distancing through at LEAST the end of this month. Now is the time to reschedule your wedding date if you haven’t already.
- Be flexible with your backup plan. Your vendors are likely already booked for most Saturdays later this year & it would be extremely hard to have most of your vendors available on a Saturday this fall (unless its during off-season). Consider a Friday or Sunday, or even a weekday! Especially if you want your current vendor team.
- HIRE A PLANNER- It is never too late to hire a planner, and now is the best time to do it. Don’t go through this stressful time alone, let a planner help you. Mine has been extremely helpful and I’ve never been so thankful that we got one. I seriously can’t recommend one enough. If your wedding is 1-3 months out and you’re potentially going to postpone, get one. It’s worth every penny to have someone take some of the stresses away! They will contact vendors for you and make sure your dream day still happens no matter what! They know every detail about how a wedding day runs so they will be so helpful in that regard as well.
- Consider your guest list. Are they mostly ages 40 or 50+? Are they more at risk for Corona? This is, unfortunately, something you just have to consider. If you want your guests to feel completely comfortable attending your wedding (if it’s in the near future) consider postponing it to keep your loved ones safe.
- Postpone early enough. If you’re going to postpone, it is better to do it sooner rather than later, especially if you have your heart set on getting married in 2020. If you wait, the early spring brides having to reschedule may take most of the Fridays-Sundays left. If you’re fine getting married in 2021 then more may be available or if you’re open to postponing to a weekday, you can probably hold out a little longer!
- Check your contracts with your vendors. Some have additional fees if you don’t reschedule within 6 months or a year of your original date. This is due to the vendor’s prices increasing year by year. Some vendors may be flexible during this time, but some may still require the extra fee. So look at those contracts, and ask them questions if you need clarification!
- If you find yourself consumed in stress and anxiety… consider postponing. I say this because I was there, I felt it! It was awful and really caused so much extra worry. The day we postponed, chose a new date, and had all our vendors on board was a HUGE weight lifted off our shoulders. We didn’t want to remember our wedding as feeling full of stress and anxiety.
- What if I need to postpone, but still want to legally get married on my original date? This is a possibility! Is your city allowing gatherings of 10? Maybe allow just your immediate families to witness your marriage. However, I think some cities are only allowing you to be with the people in your household. But if this is more flexible where you live, it’s something you can consider!
- Know you aren’t alone. So many brides are going through the same thing. Vendors are also here to help you!! Reach out to them, they want to be able to assist you in this difficult time. Be sure to communicate with them.
- Once your new date is planned- you just have to let go of your old date (this was advice from my mama). Start being positive and optimistic about your new date. Don’t keep thinking about the “what if’s” of the old date because even if that date turned out to be okay once it comes, the stress along with waiting was probably not worth it to you. So don’t look back- get excited about your new date and think of how fun celebrations around your new wedding date will be!
I hope these quick tips helped you!!
My experience postponing
For me personally, the scariest thing was putting people at risk, especially as COVID-19 became more serious and spread to our area. We did not want people to be scared to attend our wedding nor did we want to miss out on hugging the ones we love on our happiest day. I wanted everyone to really enjoy themselves, without having to think twice about their health/safety.
The second deal-breaker was how I was feeling. Every night I struggled to sleep and every day I felt anxious and stressed. Was it worth it? To spend the next month praying that the venue wouldn’t close or wondering if there may be restrictions on group gatherings? By this time, my bridal shower at the end of April had canceled as well as our bachelor/bachelorette parties. Would I be okay having those after the wedding? Those should be fun & exciting events that bring anticipation and excitement towards your happiest day. Ty and I didn’t want to look back 20 years from now regretting having our wedding in the midst of this chaos. I know future Jaime + Tyler will be thankful we chose to hold out for an experience that we have been dreaming of for years. (Remember, this was our specific situation, and not everyone’s will be the same!)
On the morning of March 30th, I found out that social distancing had been pushed back until the end of April. At this point, I knew things weren’t looking great. I called my venue coordinator and asked about the dates they had available for the fall. They only had a few dates left, as all the March/April brides needed to push their weddings back to the fall as well, which caused them to be extra booked.
I chose the end of September as the weather in Charleston, SC is perfect at that time but I quickly started to panic as I realized I’d need to check in with about 10 other vendors to make sure they had it open (but was hoping that due to choosing a Sunday, that they may be more available). I put every vendor into one email and sent it out asking if they were available on my new date. Thankfully every vendor of ours is available on the new date, it was the biggest relief! If I had waited even a week later, we may not have even been able to get married this fall. I don’t say this to scare anyone but to just be real and share my experience. If we would have just kept waiting it out, we likely would have missed out on the chance to postpone.
I feel so at peace with this decision. Even if May comes and things were to clear up, I am still thankful for my choice. I had the power to either stress myself out waiting, or make the call now and know we can spend this coming summer looking forward to our wedding day. I chose the safer decision which was to be prepared for the worst. There are so many unknowns to this but playing it safe was the best decision for Tyler, myself and our families. The day we made the decision- I shed a good amount of tears. But after hearing about tip #11 above, I was able to get excited about our new date, and can’t wait to have a normal celebration!
I hope this blog post was able to help even one bride. If you know a bride, consider sharing this with them to provide some helpful insight. I know I could’ve really benefited from hearing this even a week ago. If your wedding will need to be postponed, know it will all be okay, and your day will be beautiful and perfect no matter the date! It’s okay to cry and feel upset, but once you get those tears out, then get to work on crafting a new plan if necessary. It will be worth the wait!